predestination.

yesterday there were women and males dressed in togas that resemebled darth vader. In conclusion there were dreams that men and women could only mirror through fables. I got sucked into a room where all delight harvested itself into a bird bath of black lights and four connected souls.
remember this.

quarl

Subscuming. Ive decided that the materiality of relationships are all contrived from the point of view that tells you YOU cant and will not die alone. This is unavoidable. Insincere.

White Wine Conversations.

And so last night, we spoke of how were both just rivers and we're moving so fast and this may be seen as being....oh i dont know...an asshole. just moving not thinking not caring what others around may possibly think or FEEL, but the point is, is that rivers do make streams, they tend to their own garden of rivers. Theyre nurturers. fauna is not one with the river until she drinks from the river, she needs to drink from the river in order to grow, and those are our friends, but theyre just on the sidelines, as a little distraction. But i said ... im scared. My water will be spared and where Will i be? Selfish. Time is spared. Luck is wished. Food is given. I am giving. WHAT IS REALLY ESSENTIAL? I am a river myself but my river is flowing much too fast on its own. No little streams to tend to and I dont want to mix my water with the wrong kind of water. Algae has a tendency to grow with in my veins. Its only natural, yes, but it still makes me itch and it still makes me wonder if it truely belongs there in the first place.
So, im giving in. and Im going to give my soul the energy needed to help this other human river create. I will challenge, persist and endure. Embrace. Fucking Contrived sounding bullshit.

Past the LakeSide Shore.

Theres something else crumbling down on the ocean front. Its my slippers and a magazine. and an arm chair is thrusting in with the tidal waves. theres another red tide for ya. lets starve ourselves of production and eat lethargy. Again I feel. Im gaining way to the ultimate water front. Not watergate. Forgive me as a take time to distract myself from this world and engulf myself in DISTRACTIONS. pure midless DISTRACTIONS. Theres some sort of trade off going on here. I cant quite place it. Its me. There I am. Over there. You see it. Look to your left of this image. you see that jumble of symbols. Yah, there i an=m. Im the "t" and the "a" and the ....

hey look over here. closer. do you see your face?

My name is Jan.u.ary.

I have decided that the waves are made of seran wrap and for the first time they-re starting to wear thin. I didn't know that direct sunlight and other swamps of lights would lay their eggs, creating parts of the sea that ripple in light density. I have come to understand, well i hope i did, nah i prolly didn't do such a thing. Anyways the life thats there in the chicken egg wont stop swarming in my frying pan and im so desperate for food. i cant seem to remember the last time i had milk by my eggs you would think the dairy farm was a lot more sufficient in the fucking country side. but the country side is covered water. seas of my grandfathers worries. each time we leave that forlorn place my eyes start to crumble and my grandfather wipes his shoulders dry.

day four: in hours. I havent seen the light of the street cars in days. probably because im stuck in the wrong time period. Horse and Buggies are walking through the soot. Soot of manure and cricket voice. suddenly i realize im not that available for liking. not available to truely suck myself in there. And so the days start twisting and turning like my stomach. or just the way the flask hits my stomach. I ve found it. I see it. I ve lost it. I ve touched it. And it slipped.

i really wish i had a beer.